My Embarrassing Moment

I have to start by saying why is it the moments that are most embarrassing to us are the moments everyone loves to remind us of and laugh about. I think Pepe Capistrand busts a gut laughing every time he reminisces about the time I walked his dog Kato.

I was 10 years old and happened to be wearing a brand new white outfit. It was the penultimate 80's outfit - white stirrup pants and a white shirt with colorful splotches all over it. I thought it was the coolest. My mom and I went to visit mem and pep and I asked if I could take Kato for a walk. She was just a puppy full of energy and of course I was just a kid. It had rained earlier in the day or the night before. Kato ran and I slipped right into the biggest mud puddle. Of course I walked into the house wailing -- upset that I ruined my new clothes and mad at that dog. My mom and Pepe laughed their heads off. And I had to endure years and years of hearing the story told over and over again.

So, I'm not sure how I can relate this to weight loss another than to say when a dog drags you down pick yourself up and keep on going!

Okay here are 2

These really don't have to do with weight lose but I am sure you will like them... The first on is I think I was about 8 years old and I was at my Aunt Jeannes house and she had made a Ham for supper.. Well either my cousin asked what we were going to have to eat or my mother asked what I ate while I was there( i don't remember which) but I said it was skinless chicken and to this day my aunt still picks on me about it......

Okay the other embarrassing moment was I saw a BFI truck picking up the trash at school.. I was in the 2nd grade came home all exited and told my mom that the FBI was at my school picking up the trash and I was scared.. She laughed so hard and I was mad at her because it was serious business if the FBI is going threw the school trash...'

Again they pick on me for that all the time too..

Homework Assignment

OK Chris, I'll accept your challenge. Here are a couple of embarrassing type childhood stories that fit in to our weight loss oeuvre.

My mom always had little dishes of candy out all over the house. I went to her house yesterday and she had a dish of chocolate coffee beans and another of cow tails and dove chocolate Easter eggs. Anyways, I think I was eight when she had me and my brother start doing Weight Watchers with her. She got rid of all the soda in the house and made us start drinking seltzer. She put our first glass into her crystal champagne flutes to make it special but I thought it was gross. When she walked away, I put a handful of chocolate after dinner mints into the bottom of the glass to make it taste better. I would also sit under the dining room table and eat candy because it had a long table cloth and lots of chairs around it so I thought no one could see me eating. I would hide my candy wrappers all over the house or flush them down the toilet so I wouldn't get caught.


Twenty years later and I'm still doing that - hiding my overeating. I'll buy something at the grocery store and eat it in the car on my way home and either throw the wrapper out the window or hide it in the car until I can safely throw it away. It's sick.

I knew at a very early age that I did not possess any natural athletic ability. Or I was just fat. I remember playing kickball in my backyard with my next door neighbor Kristen Malone and my friend Colleen Hackenson (both of whom ended up being soccer jocks in high school). I realized that I was losing and could not keep up with them and I started hyperventilating and now, from experience, I realize I was having a panic attack. It felt like my throat was closing up and I couldn't breath and I was crying and incredibly embarrassed. Later that same year, I was 10 and in fifth grade, we had to run a mile in gym. They made us run around the big baseball field and I don't remember how far I made it but I do remember going to the nurse's office, breathing into a paper bag, my grandfather picking me up early and taking me for ice cream on the way home.

Please share your stories with us - you may learn something from them. I know I just did.

Got nothing...

I have been sitting here for ten minutes trying to think of a good theme, or a good story, or something. I have nothing. Nada, zip and zilch. I found the above cartoon and it made me laugh and sad at the same time. Also, for inspiration, here is a cool link to the Biggest Loser's viewer weight loss gallery.

I am complacent and my BMI is still THIRTY FOUR. Anything over 30 is Obese, and I have to weigh 178 lbs to be considered normal weight. Check this out, SEVENTY SIX more pounds to lose is what I have. That's just under what I have already lost and I'm not sure if I can do it. I feel so healthy and so good about myself but there are a ton of people who START at 250 lbs.

We tried the reset. Now I am going to try to quit Diet Coke. I'm not sure if I am ready but I want to try. I am not totally quit yet, but I am off the diet coke in totality after 6:00 PM. I think that this in the long term will help me with my appetite, the size of my stomach, my heart, my bones and my overall feeling of health.

Sorry that this is not inspirational, but it is a post and I am going to try to post once a day, every day. I know I have said that before but this time I mean it. I've also put up a new poll, please vote.

One last thing. When I was a kid, I only ever caught one fish that I remember and I would like to clear the air. I was fishing down the trail with my pole and my bobber. I hooked a fish and reeled it in and I was absolutely shocked and excited that I caught one. I showed it to my brother who was standing there and he said, "Oh my god, you caught a BARRACUDA!!!" I was very young and didn't know, so I went running down the trail to the campsite and I was yelling, "I caught a Barracuda, I caught a Barracuda!" Here is a picture of the kind of fish I caught:

This is a picture of a real Barracuda. Obviously, I was mistaken.

To this day my family makes fun of me and I truly believe that the memory of the embarrassment made it hard for me to want to fish. I now have discovered fishing again and I don't care that when I was 8 years old I didn't know what a Pickrel was, so there, take that. Lastly, it was JERRY who told me it was a Barracuda, so I blame him. Your assignment is to blog about an embarrassing story from a long time ago that you just can't seem to forget.

Liberation

I try and give myself a theme every week in my food journal. This week is the Fourth of July and I have poppy stickers (the symbol of rememberance) decorating the two pages. My theme is "Independence From Food."

I don't want my life to be taken over by the cravings cycle anymore. I need to keep telling myself, "Food is fuel." Intellectually, I know that this is the truth and if I say it over and over again, I am hoping that I will truly believe it. We no longer have to live to eat - we will eat to live!

I did not start my Independence week very well. I went to the movies for lunch today and ate most of a medium buttered popcorn and a box of Raisinets. I, of course, felt sick when I was done but I let the food take hold of me and I couldn't stop. I was actually disappointed when I finished the Raisinets.

Let's work together to break the reigns that food has on us!

Week 17 Results

Today I did a 45 minute spinning class at the gym. This is an incredible workout. First you get on this bike looking thing and then a crazy dude starts yelling at you to peddle harder. Then there are the up-downs and the climbs and the cadence and everything else. You sweat like a basketball player. Here's the funny part, before you know it, the 45 minutes are over. That was the best part. Today I am encouraged about my diet. I had two eggs for breakfast with a diet english muffin and light butter. I had an antipasto salad for lunch, BUT NO BREAD, and a very sensible pork dinner with boiled potatoes and steamed vegetables. I feel good about my diet today and I feel good about myself because I was able to do 45 minutes.

I do not know how to get remotivated every day, but I have decided to try. I think this is a new phase of dieting, where I have to work harder to stay on track. I am so complacent. I can lift heavy things and I can run a mile. I do not get winded playing with the kids. I go fishing with Mike, which is awesome. Jason and I are going to go fishing tomorrow if the weather is good. I also want to plan a day of fishing with Jonathan and Joshua and Dad. My house is about to sell (I hope!) and we're pretty settled in here. I really like my job and the people I work with. So you see, complacency sets in. I want to lose another 50 pounds and I know I can do, because I have already done it.

Welcome back Angie!!! Now... we've only lost 481 lbs as a team since the beginning and we GAINED versus last week. (Thanks Bart.)

Roll Call:

Aunt Ann & Uncle Bob - You can do better, but this week, you did the best. Focus, Focus, Focus.
Katie - Thank you for always losing for us. It helps me and inspires me.
Angie - Just keep losing a pound a week and one year later you're down 50.
Fran - Slow and Steady wins the race.
Michael & Lisa - Mike, I know you can TASTE the 199.... keep driving.
Aunt Jeanne - WOWOWOWOW... you're on fire... have more weeks with no time!
Everyone Else - You WILL do better this week. It is serious weight loss business time.

FEEDING TIME !!!!

THE LIFE OF A CAT......IMAGINE.....BEING TOLD WHEN TO EAT....WHAT TO EAT ....AND SLEEP ALL DAY.....AHHHH...THE LIFE OF A CAT......FEEDING TIME HERE AT THE MARTIN HOUSEHOLD.....THIS IS A LITTLE SCAREY...!!!

LOVE YOU WITH A LITTLE MOUSE MARTINI AND A SIDE OF BUTTERFLIES.....

PAULA LULA ANGEL :0)

Every MONDAY ---BACK TO BASICS

Get Back to basics, hey , even if it is for a few days...I am sure learning how to maintain my weight.... so for this week my personal challenge will be to get my weight , and maintain it at a few pounds lighter...it is okay to stop and smell the roses along the way , as long as you don't put permanent residency there...I have been at these same numbers for 5 months.. so it is time to move on DOWN the road......but it does prove one point that if you want it...you can have it...weight loss that is...you just need to keep on keeping on....this is not a punishment and if you think of it as such you are sure to fail...so I look at it as a learning journey....for this week I am going to say NO to those comfort foods that I need so much last week and try to find another way to vent my anxiety.....tis all for now....Happy Week to all

Love you when I KNOW that I can do better....
Paula Lula Angel

" Im Just a Girl Who Cant Say NO !!! "

Why is that ....the weekend is upon us once again...we are only 2 days away from our MONDAY WEIGH IN....so.....why do I need to be a girl who cant say NO... !!!

This is going to be my personal goal....for the weekend...Just stop and listen to myself ...and say ....No Thankyou .....that will be my chanllenge...

Love you when I got to get ahold of my crazy emotions...with a little help from the SUN.
Paula Lula Angel :0)

When one door closes.......

Talk about needing comfort food...... my place of employment announce today that it will be closing its doors after many many years of business. This town was built around its founding in the middle 1800s. Southbridge, " The eye of the Commonwealth" has been manufacturing eyewear since forever. So for today , we were told that it is closing starting in October and shortly there after. On a good note , I was offered a position to work with the R and D people...but for how long.....
So lets talk about comfort food.....it is hard to not try and comfort yourself with things that taste good....I feel bad....I feel excited....makes no sense...but I am sure you get the idea.
200 people out of a job...
Hip hip hooray for the economy.....when will it all end and get better ???

Peace for today....because when God closes a door he opens a window of opportunity..
Love you when I just cant say no to chocolate today...
Paula Lula Angel :0)

A quest to find "Good to Eats"

So as some of you know Jerry gets paid every 2 weeks. So I shop for the house every 2 months. So I need help please.. I need good dessert recipes that taste good, look good, NOT ALOT OF CALORIES and only have like 4 ingredients that I can whip together quickly. I also need them to make for 2 months of a shelf life. So I challenge anyone who knows one to email me or write it down.. There are alot of good cooks on this blog so I am sure some of you can come up with something..

HELLOOOOO?!?!?!?

Is anyone out there??

We only got 7 weights this morning - Chris, mine, Paula, John, Angie, Bart and Yvette. 6 out of those 7 live here.

What happened to the rest of you?!?! You have 20 hours to get us your weights for the week so Chris can do the update tomorrow night.

Just because it was "Fatten Up Weekend" doesn't mean it's "Skip Your Weigh In Monday"...

I can't believe I used to feel like this all the time...

I feel bloated and heavy and weighed down and tired. Just from eating the wrong foods.

Yesterday I went to Dresser Hill and got a cheeseburger with fries and a cone of Moose Tracks ice cream for lunch. Then I went to a cookout and ate another cheeseburger, fruit salad, cupcakes, brownies, chips and more cupcakes. Later that night I ate all the leftover ham, probably a serving and a half, and a chicken breast out of the fridge with two glasses of wine. I slept until 11am today and then cam back from Friendly's for lunch and took a nap for an hour.

Yuck.

5 Little Reasons to be Thin and Healthy !!!!

Jonathan, Alyssa, Joshua,Nathan, and Leo !!!!!!

Please Note the "Diet Coke"

What can I say....the relay for life walk always has the greatest fair foods....fried dough.....butterfly potatos....and more.....but I am looking forward to getting back on track on Monday......well....it has been sooooo easy to fall back into old habits.....and lets face it.....food is comfort to us......this can be a good thing...but in moderation.....so here is to a great coming week...lets hope this experiment has taught us something....We can do this together.....

Love you all with a little bit of salt and a lot of catsup....

Paula Lula Angel

Okay.. Katie just said it all.. That's exactly what happen to me a couple of months ago. I got stuck. So I started to not really try or care anymore. I am ready to get back on track. I loved fatten up weekend. But it has to come to an end Monday morning which is good that you decided to do it this weekend because Jerry gets paid Tuesday and I can stock up the house with all healthy foods again. So today I have Combos, chips,Nestle Ice Cream,bacon,white rice, sugared cereal, and other stuff to eat up before tomorrow. Which is good because I am going to feel sick after all that today.So to start off Monday morning I am not only going to start weighing my food instead of estimating( like I have been doing for weeks), Trying to walk more(if the rain would ever stop), and have a more positive attitude that I can do this, I am for the next 2 weeks going to control my intake of starch a day. So anyways what I am trying to say is I would love to come back if you all will have me. And Chris is going to flip when I call with weigh in tomorrow morning.. Its HORRIBLE.. But it will get better...

Fatten Up Weekend

I have declared a diet reboot for myself! And consequently for the rest of my house since I do the grocery shopping and 85% of the cooking.

We have called for a "Fatten Up Weekend"!

All week, I've been thinking about what I need to do to get myself back on track. I have been playing in the same set of numbers for two months and have not been particularly motivated to do anything differently. I knew I needed to have the same invigoration as I did in September - like I had just begun. I needed to get all of the cravings out of my system so that I could start saying "No" to food and meaning it.

When I eat junk food ALOT, I get tired of it. I need to get to a place where I am not craving bad for me foods and stuffing myself silly. If I can get it out of my system this weekend, I can start fresh on Monday morning

I am going to start calculating, exactly, all of my calories. To do this, I will need to utilize my food scale which, I'm sorry to say, is collecting dust and measure everything instead of estimating. I need to learn what hungry and satisfied feel like. Again. I need to heartily commit to exercise.

I know I have come a long way in only 10 months but I still have so far to go. Many people START their journey where I am right now and that's what I'm going to do on Monday. I'm going to "reboot" and start over. I'm not ready to quit.

SO WHO'S WITH ME?! Do YOU have the courage to start over? I hope so - I've really enjoyed the company on this journey!

So WHO still visits here for words of Wisdom ???

ROLL CALL !!!

I know that I like to come here to see what there is to read to help me on the road to SUCCESS, so who is here with me....I am just curious .....click on the comment section below and tell me that you are here...this is a test ...it is an easy one.....anyone can pass this one....
Oh yeah...how is your week going so far..it is Wednesday and in the old days..
Wednesdays was Prince spaghetti day !! ANTHONY !!!!!!!!

Love you when I am feeling a bit nostalgic
Paula Lula Angel :0)

Week 15 Results

Wow... we are so close to 500 lbs lost as an overall team. Great work. I am still covering old ground but Katie is getting to new lows. I will try harder on my post a day promise because I have not been able to do it this past week.

Jess is 33 !!!!

I know that you NEEDED to celebrate the day with Choc. Cake...I do hope that the rest of the cake went with Serge to school....oh ....but a nice piece with ice cream and candles and the babies singing "Happy to You" Celebrate the day but not all month long...
Happy Birthday , yesterday, Jess....and many many more...
PS STAY AWAY FROM THE DEVIL DOGS you are stronger than they are....I have faith in you....you look wonderful...don't slide backwards....give yourself good health for you birthday...
Love you when I was busy having you and dad was with pep racing the pigeons. :0)

Be Your Own Friend

BE YOUR OWN FRIEND.....
POSITIVE SELF TALK DOES WORK....DON'T FOCUS ON WHAT YOU ARE DOING WRONG.....FOCUS ON WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT !!! WHEN YOU MAKE A BAD CHOICE OR DECISION , DON'T DWELL ON IT...JUST MOVE FORWARD AND DO NOT REPEAT IT, OR SAY, OH WELL , MY DAY IS MESSED UP SO I WILL START ALL OVER AGAIN IN THE MORNING....START ALL OVER AGAIN ONCE YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE IN TROUBLE....IT IS VERY REWARDING TO BE IN CONTROL....DON'T LET NEGATIVE SELF TALK GET THE BEST OF YOU !!!! BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND .

LOVE YOU WHEN THIS LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL....MAKE THE BEST OF IT !!! BE HAPPY WITH YOUR CHOICES...

PAULA LULA ANGEL :0)

Week 14 Results

As a team since the beginning of round two we have lost 140 lbs. Since the start of the challenge we have lost 491 lbs. I have to tell you that eating is more fun than losing weight. I am really back to my old habits and the scale is showing it. There were cold cuts in the house, and I must have had at least 20 slices directly from the fridge. I even hid it from everyone! I do not know where my motivation has gone. I want to get it back. I was so fired up when we started. I want to be that fired up again. I am going to try to do at least one post a day and that should keep dieting top of mind. I am not sure how to make it fun again. Right now, it is not fun, I am just unhappy with myself and feel like I am letting people down. Let's do roll call:

Mike & Lisa: Lisa, you did ok, but Mike looks like you are really working for the sub-200 weigh-in. Just so you know, both you AND Lisa are at Challenge Lows. Congrats.

Becky & Greg: All Right!!!!! I know you can do this. This little spark shows you can light a fire. I'm so glad that the nutritionist helped. Let's go for two weeks in a row!

Mom & Dad: See you had a good week. Dad is still covering old ground, and mom you are fighting to get back to where you were six weeks ago. I blame myself because I have to be more motivated too.

Aunt Ann: You are SOOOO close to those big new numbers. Have a good week and you'll be there. Uncle Bob - you've covered this ground before - maybe you can get back to a challenge low.

Mike & Jeanne - Mike, you've been exactly the same weight for 5 weeks, at least you haven't gained. It says a lot that you quit smoking and haven't gained, that is not easy to do.

Fran - Do not be so hard on yourself. You are at a Challenge Low!!!! You are VERY close to some new numbers, keep smiling!

Katie - I will help. I will do one post a day, even if it is a silly small one. I promise.

More, more, more

Why is it that after I've fallen off the wagon, it's so hard to get back on? Last week, I gave up on Tuesday when I went to the Harvest with Chris. Wednesday, I went to the Red Lion Inn in Stockbridge. I went to Applebee's for lunch on Thursday and had 4 large slices of pizza for dinner. I bought cookies at the store on Friday. On Saturday, I ate everything in sight - I just couldn't stop. Sunday, I had a big dinner and dessert. Twice. Oh - and wine almost every night.

Monday morning, after realizing that Chris and I gained 8 pounds as a team, I was determined to get my head out of my butt and back in the challenge. Easier said than done. I was craving all the bad foods I love and had certainly eaten enough of last week. I made Chris fight with me because I wanted ice cream. It was not a proud day.

I have found that when I go totally off plan, it will take me a week to fight the cravings. I want those cookies and caramel creams and ice cream and bread. If I give in, the week resets. I have been giving in to temptation for a month and my weight shows it. It may look like I lose but I've been gaining and losing the same 10 pounds for almost 6 weeks. This week, I gave back my 150 milestone. I am tired of seeing the same set of numbers on the scale. I have gotten complacent and I'm not sure how to shake it up. Or I don't really want to.

Chris and I were talking about our collective complacency this weekend. We both feel like we have gotten to a point where we aren't always the fattest people in the room - we're just normal fat people. Clothes look better; day to day living is easy; we can get down on the floor and be able to get back up; one flight of stairs doesn't wind us. Personally, I think I need to go back and evaluate my goals and give myself some new S.M.A.R.T. goals because even though I have not reached my weight goal, I have reached my lifestyle goals.

Where does your complacency lie? What throws you off track? How are you going to shake it up?

Could this be the END of the Challenge

Just when you think you have got on the right train to get to you final end, you sometimes feel like you ran into a brick wall. We cant give up. We need to go forward. So don't let yourself down....find that drive that you had when we first began our journey ....let this week be a great week....we can all start over ...a new beginning so to speak...let trudge forward and downward...not upward on the scale..

Love you when I too need words of encouragement...

Paula Lula Angel

I LOVE YOU LITTLE LEO

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for"

Lets welcome little Leo to the family......we have waited for you a long long time....

All my love and prayers,

Great (meaning the greatest :0) jk ) Auntie Paula Lula Angel

Where oh where are you ?????

I dont know about you....but I need imput....I need words...I need pictures...I know that we are all busy.....but I think that we need to lean on each other to make us strong...yes we need to do this for ourselves but it is so much better to travel the road in a group and not alone....this week...all I can think of is....Where have all the flowers gone...take the time to think , before you bite....do you really want that snack..well if you do...dont hide....enjoy every bite..savor the flavor..make the moment last...dont do it have &$$.....
So my personal goal for this week is ...stay below my old number and keep my new one.....if that is the case...I am less than 20 lbs to my personal goal..who would have thought...but I cant do this alone....well I can ... and I should ...but it is more fun to do it with friends and family...
Love you all when I am missing you,
Paula Lula Angel :0)

Week 13 Results