My mom always had little dishes of candy out all over the house. I went to her house yesterday and she had a dish of chocolate coffee beans and another of cow tails and dove chocolate Easter eggs. Anyways, I think I was eight when she had me and my brother start doing Weight Watchers with her. She got rid of all the soda in the house and made us start drinking seltzer. She put our first glass into her crystal champagne flutes to make it special but I thought it was gross. When she walked away, I put a handful of chocolate after dinner mints into the bottom of the glass to make it taste better. I would also sit under the dining room table and eat candy because it had a long table cloth and lots of chairs around it so I thought no one could see me eating. I would hide my candy wrappers all over the house or flush them down the toilet so I wouldn't get caught.
Twenty years later and I'm still doing that - hiding my overeating. I'll buy something at the grocery store and eat it in the car on my way home and either throw the wrapper out the window or hide it in the car until I can safely throw it away. It's sick.
I knew at a very early age that I did not possess any natural athletic ability. Or I was just fat. I remember playing kickball in my backyard with my next door neighbor Kristen Malone and my friend Colleen Hackenson (both of whom ended up being soccer jocks in high school). I realized that I was losing and could not keep up with them and I started hyperventilating and now, from experience, I realize I was having a panic attack. It felt like my throat was closing up and I couldn't breath and I was crying and incredibly embarrassed. Later that same year, I was 10 and in fifth grade, we had to run a mile in gym. They made us run around the big baseball field and I don't remember how far I made it but I do remember going to the nurse's office, breathing into a paper bag, my grandfather picking me up early and taking me for ice cream on the way home.
Please share your stories with us - you may learn something from them. I know I just did.
1 comment:
Oh my Katie.. That was not such a funny embaressment.. I am so sorry but on another note I pretended my leg hurt when I was doing my mile run in school , got sent to the nurse and 3 months later I had to have it operated on.. Funny how life works.. Had I not gotten so embarresed becasue I was fat and couldnt run.. I might have lost the weight and wouold not have needed surgury..
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