Well, this time had to come, it is just part of the process, we are almost at that wondrous, worrisome, weight-watching weekend. These next three days are really where you have to decide what you want out of your life. Weekends are fun - I mean - you don't have to go to work, and you can sleep in and mostly you pursue hobbies and activities you enjoy. Yes, of course there is the occasional must do project around the house that you hate and yes, sometimes you have to go to Uncle Ned's for a stupid 50th birthday party - but for the most part, we have wonderful weekends.
Typically you start your Friday night off with a get together, and then you order pizza, and jo-jo potatoes and of course you need to have a bag of chips around along with some cheese puffs, right? Since you don't have to go to work - no big deal to drink 5 or 6 beers, and you love to wash it down with a nice piece of chocolate cake or something else from the bakery, then, a few hours later you get the hungry bug and that ice-cream is just calling you from the fridge, keep in mind that all of this is ok because, you know, you are down 6 lbs for the week and you deserve it because you worked so hard.
Let's talk about dogs for a moment - I realize it seems like a big topic jump, but just hear me out. So you have a dog, you love your dog, you want your dog to be healthy and so you take them to the vet for their regular checkup. (This happened to a friend of mine at work and I realized that it relates to our own situations.) Anyway, the vet gives you a speech for an hour, takes you out to the woodshed, makes you pick and strip your own stitch and then puts a few blistering red love lines on your bare ass just so you remember - your dog is too fat and it is YOUR fault. If you don't control your dog's diet, then he is going to blow out his knees.
It feels great to give your dog food, wow, do they love it and love you for it. It makes us happy. That cute little face looks up at you as if you have the last piece of beef on the planet and if you share it they'll love you forever. "Please oh please can't I just have a little bit, I'll be your best friend," they save with their face. "I am a good boy and I can sit really pretty, and I'll be good forever and ever if you just throw that piece of cheese where I can catch it," they whine. "uuuueeeehhhhmmm, ueeeehhhhmm," they breathe. They are just too cute. Then the kill shot comes, the dog takes that cute little face and puts their chin right on your arm and then tilts their eyes to the sky, your will power gone, you toss the pizza crust in the air and with a cir-de-soleil quality performance they leap and twist, turn 180 degrees, flip over, stand on their front legs, do a back flip, change the tires on your car, and solve out to 2,048 digits of pi, only to land a split second later in a royal sitting position, chest held high, looking proud at their accomplishment. At this moment, you know you have the most talented and loving dog in the world, and they know that they have the most beautiful, intelligent dog owner the world has ever known. Before you can take your next breath, the process starts all over again.
I went into such detail because the fact is that it feels so good to feed your dog. They like food and you like the show. There is nothing but positive feedback in the interaction. The dog gets fed and you get to smile at the wagging tail. It is not all that different from when we feed ourselves a sausge and pepperoni pizza, I mean we may not have to do flips to get ours, but we do have to pick up the phone and call the delivery man, and I mean, that is hard work - sometimes the phone can feel as heavy as a load of bricks and then there is all that "sitting-on-your-ass-watching-tv-and-waiting-impatiently-for-the-hand-delivered-cheesey-deliciousness" and we know how that can really tire us out.
What the vet would say to you after you plead that "it is only a little bit of food I give" and "he likes it so much" and "I love my dog, so why can't I feed them" is that if you really loved your dog - you'd stop feeding them. You see, for all of their acting, the dog doesn't really love you more when you feed it - dogs are smart, but not that smart. They can get the same look in the face if you hold a stuffed animal in the air and throw it to them. Feeding your dog is really about you, about your satisfaction at their reaction. Feeding your dog is selfish. The selfless thing to do is to not feed your dog. It makes you feel bad, it makes you feel like you are punishing him, makes him look not happy and confused. It is hard work to keep your dog on a healthy low-calorie diet.
It is exactly the same way with us. If we REALLY liked ourselves and cared about ourselves we would take the path that is more painful. The path of celery sticks and rice cakes. The path of exercise and sweat. The path of sore muscles and exhaustion. Just like with your dog, if you care about yourself you don't do the thing that feels good because in the long run you are eating yourself to death. A dog can't realize that when they overeat that it will hurt them in the long run - that's why they need us to be the ones in control. You have the benefit to know that bad food raises your cholestoral, causes diabetes, increases the risk of heart attack and stroke - so you have no excuse. Pigging out and engaging in the mortal sin of gluttony is the same thing as smoking crack. It feels good but in the long run you are killing yourself - Crack may be more efficent at it - but in the end you get the same result.
This weekend, as you are tempted by the party-like atmosphere most of us are in, avoid the keilbasa plate, avoid the cheese, have one helping and don't drink to much. You are the owner of your own body, so think about your body as your dog and how if you love your body, you'll say no to bad food.
P.S. Lula! Lula! Lula! Where are you? We need posts. If you have time to facebook and play Zumba - then you can muster up something good to say!
No comments:
Post a Comment